Suffering from Crap Syndrome
Why is sharing uncomfortable for writers?
As writers, sharing our words is a double-edged sword — adding value to the world vs self-doubt aka crap syndrome. Even seasonal writers freak themselves out from time to time. I know because I have been writing for decades and coached other writers.
Hi my name is Tannille and I suffer from crap syndrome
Last night, I posted my first personal essay. I tinkered with the editing for hours. Longer than any sane person would for 1500ish words. Beyond standard grammar. Procrastination baby. Bedtime rolled around, and I debated on keeping the story to post later in the week.
Come on, you can post this on Friday and work on a short post tomorrow.
Tannille and her shadow
Yeah but, what’s left to edit? I’ve read over the story so many times, I’m brain numb and it reads more and more like flies on manure! Post — now or never!
The anxiety of uncertainty can cripple creatives. We need to learn when something is done. Our shadow self wants to protect our ego. Stalling is a tactic. In short, according to psychology, the shadow self is the suppressed feelings that control our behaviours. I wasn’t consciously aware I was procrastinating. Subconsciously, my shadow was saying the story wasn’t good enough for the public and I should save myself from the embarrassment. Consciously, I told myself, I just need to edit one more time. Perfection is a beetch that holds us back. I caught on, my shadow and I are old battle buddies. Victory as I hit the publish button.
But the shadow never leaves without a fight.
This morning, a discomfort made itself at home in my stomach. The discomfort that comes with “firsts”. First day at work. First time meeting people. The first blog post. The first personal essay. My brain and body treat anxiety and excitement the same. Thank the stars I don’t feel like this every time I post online. Adrenaline junkies get off on these feelings — lucky bastards!
Combating Crap Syndrome (self-doubt)
1. Give yourself a break
Starting anything new and sharing is nerve-racking. A few years ago, I started Blog 2. I felt exposed posting my thoughts on everything writing-related at The Writing Asylum. For a while, imposter syndrome sat on my shoulder. Nowadays I post with no discomfort, it’s automatic and sometimes I get a buzz by hitting the publish button. As the cliché goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day. We learn and grow into new pursuits. The only shame is not trying. One failed story will not ruin your status.
2. If some people don’t like your story or post, who gives a f…?
I rather readers give my writing a go, and leave, rather than hang around under sufferance. There is an article floating around — we only need 1000 true fans to be successful as creatives. And there are billions and billions of people in the world. Only a drop in the ocean needs to be true fans.
I’ve always believed a cult following is more desired than a mainstream hit. Cult followers are obsessed, and the story transcends time. Cult works are for the few, not the many. No writer can please every reader.
3. You need to stand out
There is so much generic writing out there. A yawn fest. The AI beast will make it worse. Why would any of us want to be a clone? Society brainwashes most of us from a young age to conform, yet most of the big artists don’t and stand out from the rest. More than ever, writers need to shine with personality. Not only do we compete with other humans, but the machine.
4. Step away.
Don’t hit the refresh button. Don’t view stats. Responding to positive comments can alleviate discomfort but engage at a set time. Try focusing on something else in your life. Reset your brain. Gain perspective.
Takeaway
Wow, I feel better already. Writing is a magic medicine. Sometimes we need to ride with our discomfort. Nothing is as hard as the first few times. The negativity is in our heads. Nobody cares, only us and trolls (they don’t count ever). Friends support. The discomfort is normal and means we are alive.
Now, I have to go edit that story. The one I wrote months ago for a competition. I haven’t entered a real competition before. Tinker-tinker. Procrastination.
“Hello, Shadow.”
Here we go again.
~*~
THE WRITING ASYLUM 
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